Things You Should Not Do To Your Vagina

If your vagina were a song, she'd be "Independent Women, Pt. 1" by Destiny's Child she can take care of herself. The truth is, your vagina really doesn't need much help when it comes to staying clean and healthy. Basic maintenance of your lady parts doesn't require strenuous effort, we're talking about getting annual well-woman exams, Pap smears and HPV tests every five years, wearing breathable underwear, and avoiding UTIs, among other things.

As you age, your vagina goes through a lot particularly childbirth and menopause, and you may see changes in appearance and dryness. It's tempting to turn to the latest trends that claim to nourish your lady parts, but if your vagina is ever making you physically uncomfortable, it's best to go straight to your doctor rather than hop on any of these hype trains. Unfortunately, some ladies still insist on messing around or tidying up down there in the most, ah, creative of ways. Here are 6 common moves that can go very, very wrong.


1. Put substances up there to tighten it

Important: your sexual partner should like your vagina just the way it is. There’s no need to tighten it or do anything else to change it’s shape or elasticity.

So please don’t use objects like this vagina tightening stick. There are two main ways why this is so bad for you. As well as claiming to clean the vagina with its mixture of plants, herbs and other weird substances, it tries to tighten it by drying it out.

And if you have and enjoy sex, then you know just how much of a terrible, painful idea that is. Lubrication is pretty much essential. It also claims to get rid of discharge, which we naturally produce and is normal, healthy and essential for the vagina’s own cleaning system.

2. Stay away from vaginal steaming.

We're all for the Goop-y philosophy of living your very best, healthiest life. But when Gwyneth Paltrow starts doling out patently bad advice, we've got to draw the line. Your vagina isn't a carpet you should not steam clean it. According to our friends at Women's Health (and because Goop took down the post due to justifiable backlash), Paltrow defined steaming for V as when you "sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release not just a steam douche that balances female hormone levels."

Vaginal steaming is one trend that just won't go away, with some fans who swear by it as well as fierce critics.

3. Douching

To be clear, this isn’t referring to cleaning the outside of the vagina. You’re perfectly legit to clean the vulva and outer areas. Douching, or shooting water inside the vagina to flush it out, is a big no-no. This advice is everywhere.

It’s even on products such as FemFresh that are marketed as feminine hygiene products. Just don’t do it. It hugely messes up the delicate pH balance of your lady parts, which can lead to infections such as thrush. So repeat after us: outside, but never inside.

4. Pee before sex

After sex, but never before. That’s the mantra you need to follow if you want to avoid pesky, painful urinary tract infections.

New York urologist David Kaufman has said that having a wee before sex actually increases your chances of UTIs, calling it the ‘No.1 cause of post-coital urinary tract infections’ – because it leads to a weaker stream after sex, or the lack of a need to go at all. ‘Bacteria have tiny pilli that act as Velcro hooks, which allow them to attach themselves to the urethral lining.

Having a solid stream afterward is crucial since the bacteria can be hard to dislodge.’ Holding it is better for creating that solid stream strong enough to clear any bacteria.

5. Inserting UFOs (unsanitary foreign objects)

You already know what's allowed to go into your vagina: tampons, fingers, sex toys, a penis, lube, birth control, menstrual cups—and that's about it. Give everything else the Monty Python treatment: None shall pass. "Essentially, it comes down to common sense and personal habits. Sex toys, diaphragms, menstrual cups should all be cleaned and washed in-between uses," says Young. Everything else—cucumbers, bananas, that phallic-looking device in your kitchen—should stay far, far away from your lady parts. Even if you sanitize the heck out of them, their textures alone can cause some serious irritation.

6. Use scented soaps or perfumes

The vagina can sometimes have a slight odour, but for the most part its natural scent should be neutral. Infections can cause a bad smell, but using scented soaps or perfumes is a bad idea. Research from Johns Hopkins University shows the vagina is a delicate organ with a specific pH balance. Any scents or flavours can throw off this balance, making it prone to infection.